I was skimming through the Craigslist personals yesterday (no, I’m not looking for a date, I was entertaining myself while watching Intervention) and one ad wasn’t asking for discreet sex with a married man. It asked a question.

Does size matter?

I used to be one of those sappy women who would answer “No! Size doesn’t matter! Sex is about the expression of love!”

I have since changed my position on that. It absolutely DOES matter and if your partner isn’t a good fit you should cut him loose and look for someone who is. There are a few things worse in a relationship than not being satisfied sexually, but not many. Maybe it does start out being an emotional expression of love but being left unsatisfied… it gets old. Oh yes.

There are many different ways to satisfy a woman. However, I happen to be one that will eventually want to be “fulfilled”, so to speak. There’s just something about you and your partner fitting together so intimately that solidifies a relationship.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this is why I’m missing Pete so much right now. Obviously we didn’t connect very well in every day life but we DID connect astonishingly well in the sack.

I know that all relationships are unique in their own way but I’m a little bit afraid that I will compare everyone to him in that area and I’m not going to find anyone who comes close to measuring up (pun not intended).

In the future, when I decide I’m ready for dating again, there are some things I don’t want in a man. I don’t want a business owner. I don’t want anyone who has a (very) large disposable income. I don’t want to deal with a lot of emotional baggage left over from childhood and past relationships. I don’t want someone who wants to “take care” of me. I don’t want someone who is self centered and pig headed.

I do want someone who’s handy and rugged (I really like the blue collar types). I want someone who is faithful and loyal. I want someone who loves his family but whose mother has cut the cord. I want someone who is laid back and doesn’t constantly need to be running somewhere. I want someone who doesn’t have an insane need to “be needed”. And I want someone who has some meat on his bones but has a solid foundation (not too squishy). Preferably bald but not a requirement. And, not most importantly but pretty high up on the list…a man who is well enough endowed to pleasure us both with traditional sex. Not always traditional, but if that’s what happens in the heat of the moment I don’t want to be left unsatisfied while he’s recovering from his orgasm.

Maybe that makes me greedy. That’s OK. I want what I want and I’m done settling for less.

I realize that most men aren’t attracted to chix who look like me. That’s a small part of why I’m not looking for a date now. Besides the fact that I’m taking time to enjoy the accomplishment of buying my house, chillin with my animals, and being silly with the girls…I have a lot of work to do to make myself even minutely attractive to the guys. It’s not a high priority because I am lazy, but one day it will be. And that will probably be when I’m ready to jump back into the dating pool.